The Art of Selling
Are you a good salesperson?
I used to teach selling skills and asked
this question of thousands of people. Almost everyone
doubts that they can sell. Then, I have to ask, have
you ever been in a relationship before? Have you ever
borrowed your parent's car? Have you ever talked a
friend into seeing the movie you wanted to see? If
you've answer "yes" to any of these, some
selling has been done somewhere!
People misunderstand what selling is.
Most think that it means convincing someone to buy
something. Let me tell you up front - you can't convince
people of anything. But that isn't what selling is
anyway. Selling is about finding the people who want
to buy what you have to sell, and then making it worth
their while to buy!
When it comes to your own love life,
you want to learn to sell. But, you want to do it
the easy way. When a company creates a new product,
they don't just rush out and ask people on the street
to buy - they "market" the product. This
saves them time and money. You want to market yourself
too. Here's how:
1) Define your Product
What is your product? YOU! Look at what you have to
offer. Are you comfortable with yourself? Are you
interesting? Do you have hobbies? What makes you valuable
to the opposite sex?
Don't be too hard on yourself. In fact,
you may want to ask a close, trusted friend to help
you here. Have this person help you list your assets.
Don't dwell on your liabilities other than to ask,
"What can I improve in the next 30 days?"
Spend 80% of your time improving what you already
have, and 20% working on correcting things.
2) Define your Market
Who are you looking for? The more specifically you
can define this, the more likely you'll find it. You
should take some time to consider exactly the partner
you want. What does he or she look like? How old?
Liberal or conservative? How much education? Does
this person want children? The more specific you can
be the better. Then, write it down!
This is the most important step. Something
magical happens when you commit your thoughts to paper.
There are actual scientific reasons behind this that
for lack of space, I won't go into here. Suffice it
to say you need to write down the attributes of your
"perfect" partner - and be specific.
3) Find your Customers
Where does your perfect match hang out? How are you
going to find this person (or persons)? They're probably
not going to come to you. So, why not use what you
already have. Consider your hobbies - are there organizations
or clubs devoted to your interests? Of course there
are! These are great ways to meet other people that
share your interests.
What about personal ads, singles clubs,
and the Internet? You shouldn't limit your options
when meeting people. You're probably going to have
to meet a large number to find those that fit your
"target market" (see #2 above). Also, let
your friends and family know you're looking to meet
someone special. They know you pretty well and have
contacts that you don't.
4) Make the "Pitch"
Once you meet someone, you're going to have to tell
them about your product. In the love market, this
begins with "hello". You should get used
to saying hello to everyone you meet. This makes it
much easier when you meet a potential prospect.
The pitch involves breaking the ice
as well as getting to know this new person. Once you've
made the initial contact by saying hello, just comment
on something related to where you two are. For example,
at a wedding you might ask this person if they are
friends of the bride or groom, and how they know this
person. At a supermarket, you might ask for advice
on a product. Try to stay away from pick-up lines.
First, they are generally ineffective. Second, they
make you look insincere. Just try to be honest and
open. Also, center yourself and get your confidence
up. Most people say that confidence - without being
cocky - is a great turn-on!
What if you get turned down? Great!
Remember - you're just working the numbers. You already
know that you're going to get some successes and some
failures. Don't worry about it. The more "no's"
you get, the closer you are to your next "yes".
My book, "Being a Man in a Woman's
World" has much more information on make your
pitch.
5) Close the Sale
I can't tell you how many good salespeople make this
mistake - they don't ask for the order! Somehow they
expect their customer to do it for them! When you
approach someone don't forget your goal - to get a
home telephone number. Don't accept pager numbers,
voice mail, etc.
How do you get the home telephone number?
Ask! It is great practice to get this number every
time you talk to someone. In fact, recent studies
show that men get numbers at least 50% of the time.
As you get better at it, your averages will improve.
But, you've got to get started!
Got a love, relationship or man/woman
question? I answer all letters. You can write to me
at dwneder@remingtonpublications.com for answers.
For more information about my book, "Being a
Man in a Woman's World", visit: www.remingtonpublications.com.
Copyright (c) 2001, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
